kaboom kaboom i hear a shaker in there somewhere,oh music beautiful music travel in every empty space fill it with blessings turn me into a soundproof studio,no turn me into a walking studio.My cd-rom is making love to the beautiful audio tunes of Mr Oliver Mtukudzi.In his music i hear the voices of my ancestors that roamed free without any concern about my internet speed or if my credit card is charged for my next pay pal purchase cos i surely do not want to taint my good purchasing record!Today was a weird day i cant place it,its also a day where i feel great things are coming to me  its kinda like scary cos its not planned by me.I always make mental notes about my next goal....................but this one i can feel its coming to me and im not even prepared for it.So i have like so many mental images that i caught today.The Bold and the beautiful i should call it.Dont you just admire kids their honesty how they make us laugh and also what they take note of,unlike us adults who walk with a mouth full of teeth and a brain strained by a contaminated hard drive! So this kid sees me and she goes "mum this man got hair over  his lips" now that was hella funny to hear it from a 3 year old kid but thats what the kid saw and she was fascinated by this living portrait of this man with a mouth full of hair.This guy must be a freaken weirdo why cant he just be like everybody else? I love kids i want to be as honest as a kid,so my journey carried on it took me to this mall where this South African guy told a Somalian lady she shouldnt tell him to keep quiet in his country,i think the media has covered alot of the xenophobia in South Africa so i do not need to expand on that.Right before i could chip in and attack this guy for his ignorance a lady shouted at him saying he is wrong.That brought a smile to my eyes cos someone stood up someone stood out and said NO.So often we keep shut like the bass drum and guitar in a band."never compromise who you are and the principals your parents thought you" that was the words that rung out to me,so i sat and reflected over those words,im reeling in the frequency range of the utterance it was stereo im pretty sure about it.Now you got me thinking again i wasn't suppose to think today, couldn't you just keep the thoughts captive for one day? Today i saw poverty i saw hungry mouths that needs to be fed,how can i feed them i have no capital nor am i a philanthropist.We need to sow seeds we need to plant....................i want to farm i want to speak to the creator who blows the wind to the one that molded me.........the one that speaks to me...........................the one that makes me hear these sounds................I am humbled by your grace

a non-violence movement of sort but do not test us we will shoot

Today i dont feel like saying much,take the images make of it what you want.

"Not everybody trusts paintings but people believe photographs" - Ansel Adams

So im all middle eastern this morning Salaam/Shalom,Tov toda for gazing at your computer screen and absorbing some of my thoughts.I think its important for us to recognize we all are individuals with different ideologies and so many differences.I have always regarded point of reference as a important tool in our lives,most of what we absorb from a very young age is determined by our family firstly,then the next closest line would be your community that you grow up in.So in between that phase and the next which would be adulthood there is really little space to explore outside of that realms of structured cultural dominance!The internet is for me one big book ,imagine you have so many books in front of you where would you start? So we def need a point of reference and a inquiring mind.It just frustrates the shit out of me when people quote something that they do not have a clue about.I think the internet really is a good place to do case studies,to expand and for some soul searching right.I think that is what i've tried for the last close to 15 years just seeing reaction from people and also how important a role culture and identity places in people's lives.Classic example i just quoted a few lines from Amr Diab


"Habibi, ya nour el ain, 
My darling, glow in my eyes,
Ya saakin khayali.

"The spaces in between
Two minds and all the places they have been
The spaces in between
I tried to put my finger on it"-Stateless (bloodstream)

So whenever i listen to this song it brings back memories like real intense archived thoughts that i dont know where to place.This song was a dedication from a lady i met a year ago round this time period,check the setup Linton Kwesi Johnson ,the African skyline and a amazing supporting band.What more could i ask for! Well it wasnt actually something i was seeking or anticipating but there is always fly sistas at live shows.Can you say Amen!There she was in front of the stage absorbed in the music,there i was backstage taking photos and enjoying my view from a different angle.She waved and smiled i bowed my head acknowledging her presence.........we never got to connected at that event.Three months passed and one day i saw this very face one a friends facebook she was tagged in one picture,all i had to do was tell my friend "say hi to that lady and give her this picture please",as open discussions on social platforms have become such a norm it was no big surprise when she added me on facebook.A month passed and i was on my way to Grahamstown to visit my friend and also formally introduce myself and my whole being to this lady.We had long talks about music,drama (she was a drama student) my beard etc etc. in the few months we bonded shared alot of laughs cultural education (she was half Polish half Tswana) she found it crazy that im Coloured ( what was i suppose to be).She was also a amazing singer when i say amazing please trust my word on that.A few months passed we really bonded but i told her i cant give her any commitment my heart is still broken over someone and i wouldnt want to give her a small piece of me.............the last month before she was due to write her final exam we stopped communicating,i guess it was a space that is so uncertain i felt i was giving her time to focus on her exam.Its been a month and we had no contact the very day i decided to send her a note via facebook was the day i came across the R.I.P messages on her facebook wall.She died that morning at 2 a.m with four other girls in a car accident.You cant even frame your reaction,is this for real! am i dreaming

I find it amusing that wherever i find myself in my community people always refer to me on my dad's name example Hi Johnny,Brother Johnny's son,Broeder Johnny,John they bluntly refuse to refer to me as Rushay, after all i am a being standing on my own two legs right!So i had to sit down and analyze this situation in retrospect and understand its root,i believe there is a root to every problem every situation,good or bad.What creates that reaction how far was the seed planted just to name a few of a collection of thoughts that runs through my mind,yes i know i often over-analyze a situation.I also got to acknowledge i come from a long line of people that sewed seeds and im bearing the fruit of that seeds that was sown.I have to thank this people some of them i never got to know some of them is around me right now i will never stop reiterating the importance of having and being a foundation in your kids life.A kid does not necessarily mean your own biological creation but these beings thats all around you.So i heard many stories from my dad about his family and i guess so they passed on stories from generation to generation and sometimes it just sounds like stories,it does not take on the form of actual happening in peoples lives anymore cos it took place in another lifetime,i guess once again.So all these voices that called me on my dad's name is a reflection of the seeds he planted in other people's lives and me being his seed they are calling me from the root of my trunk which would be my father!

freedom, originally uploaded by Rushay.

Hmmmm i wonder what is the cost of this freedom,is it obtained after 27 years in prison! Does BEE and tenders enrich those who constantly eludes this elusive label named FREEDOM! If freedom had a ring around her neck would she be 18 carat! Is Freedom peachy or dark skinned! Could it be that freedom is the biggest whore whose expensive price tricked us all into believing she is a true gem! I dont know,i dont have the answers but im not free thats all i know.

we all affected, originally uploaded by Rushay.

whether you realize it or not we all affected if not infected.